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Archive for the ‘life coach’ Category

I crave order in my life.  It brings me a deep sense of peace when my desk is clear, house is clutter free and my schedule is planned.   Even though order plays a starring role in my life and has allowed me to achieve much of what I have, I know that dis-order needs to play a bigger supporting role as well.

Dis-order, for me, represents being more spontaneous, deviating from my schedule and plan, even playing hookie from work occasionally.  For me, dis-order means having more time for play, for just sitting and contemplating life, for experiencing something new and different.

What are your definitions of order and dis-order?  How does each play a role in your life?

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In the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey – he starts out as a “No Man”, saying no to every request, opportunity and offer from his boss, his clients (he is a loan officer so it’s easy to say no) and his friends.  

I was suprised by how much I saw myself in this character.  Though I don’t always say no I find myself wanting to, especially when I overschedule my days….

As the title implies, Jim Carrey soon becomes a Yes Man, this time saying yes to every opportunity and question that comes his way, nomatter who or where it comes from…and he truly begins experiencing his life like never before.

When we say Yes to opportunity, expecially opportunity that looks, sounds or feels very different than our norm, it opens up a part of ourselves and brings an aliveness to our existence. 

Can we truly say yes to everything, nomatter what it is?  That’s not the idea.  The idea is to consider saying Yes to what initially may seem uncomfortable or different, especially if it may bring us closer to our vision for what we want in life.  What we are saying is Yes to life!

What would you like to say Yes to?

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My clients come to me with goals they would like to achieve.  Goals like, choosing a career that is more fulfilling, building a business or creating better life balance.

When we dive into what these goals mean to them a bigger picture of what they truly want for their lives – underneath all of the specific things they want to add, delete or change – begins to emerge.  We see with greater clarity that what they really want may be inner peace, a simpler lifestyle, or joy in the present moment….

This new clarity often brings about shifts.  Shifts in their perspective about their goals, shifts in their commitment toward them or shifts in the goals thmselves.  Building a business may really be about sharing a passion – which adds a new energy to this pursuit.  A goal of a new career may transform into newfound perspective and passion for their current work.  The quest for better balance may shift to saying no and letting go instead of becomming better at juggling what is there.

To find your bigger picture, take a look at your own goals and wants and dive deeper, asking yourself: 

  • Why are they important to you? 
  • What is beneath the surface? 
  • What are you truly reaching for?

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In my work with clients, and my workbook, these 5 steps come up all the time.  The steps are not always linear, but they all are necessary as you reach for possibilities and tap into your potential.  Here I will share each and how it has shown up in my own growth:

1 – Gain Awareness

Awareness comes up over and over again as I move through the growth of my business.  It means paying attention to what works and what doesn’t, allowing me to make slight shifts along the way.  Awareness keeps my life in balance.

2 – Clarify Your Direction

When we made our move to NC from NY, we had to know what we were looking for to help us decide where we wanted to move.  We clarified our needs and wants; and what we wanted our new community to feel like, look like and be like.  We sure found it!

3 – Get Unstuck

Whenever I feel stuck in my business, I immediately call upon one of my mastermind partners.  They are always ready with new ideas, new strategies and new challenges.  Often I choose one idea that makes me feel slightly (or more than slightly) uncomfortable so I know I am truly growing by choosing it.

4 – Get Started

To start painting again after an almost 20 year hiatus, I attended a one day class that had me painting for several hours.  This one day got me started, and over the “someday I’ll pick it back up again” thought.

5 – Make a Commitment

This is the greater challenge I have experienced with my painting, commiting to a regular practice.  What helps me?  I converted my spare bedroom into a “studio” with space to paint and I create projects to get me painting.

Take a look at your own life and your own growth and see where/how these steps have shown up.  I would love for you to share your experiences!

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During breakfast with a friend recently, we began talking about career fulfillment and he described it very well when he said something like this:

“The way I see it there are four areas to focus on – Purpose, Passion, Natural Talents and Vision when seeking a great career – when these four align, we are “in the flow” of life and work.  When one is missing, often because we don’t know what or how to define it, we feel off kilter.”

I could not agree more!  To me, our Purpose includes the impact we want to have on others, Passion includes the sparks that fly and keep us engaged, Natural Talents come through us effortlessly and Vision is the direction we would like to move – our journey.

How clear are your four areas of focus?

If any are cloudy, remember I offer a free consultation for you to learn how coaching could help you not only clarify your four areas of focus, but to integrate them into a plan of action to achieve them!

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Believing you CAN accomplish a goal, handle a situation or stretch out of your comfort zone provides you a strong foundation to build upon.   The next step is to transition from I CAN to I AM.

Brian, who commented on my No Such Word as Can’t post brought up this topic.   He had already begun his transition to writing his book using these tools:

  • Gathering information and resources about writing and publishing a book
  • Seeking advice from other writers
  • Telling everyone what he was doing
  • Taking the leap and starting to write

Fantastic tips Brian! 

Here are more thoughts to ponder about transitioning to I AM:

  • I AM is a commitment to yourself and your desire
  • I AM is taking consistent small actions that build ove time
  • I AM is determination to achieve even in the face of obstacles
  • I AM is enjoying new discoveries, possibilities and potential paths toward your goal. 
  • I AM is being present with and accepting where you are right now in your process

How have you transitioned from I CAN to I AM?

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Growing up, my father would always say “there is no such word as can’t”.  He never let us get away with the litany of excuses we would create and would instead tell us we could do anything!   My reaction to hearing that in the early years was frustration because it often referred to chores or some task I didn’t really want to do, but now could not get out of. 

As I got older, I started hearing “I can’t” come out of my mouth when faced with a difficult math problem or uncomfortable situation.  Then hearing “there is not such word as can’t” took on a different meaning.  It forced me out of my comfort zone, to work through problems and find solutions around obstacles.  Still, at a young age I did not like hearing those words!

Fast forward to today and I realize just how much of an impact those words have had on my life.  They helped me grow and challenge myself to learn new skills, push through some very difficult times and have served as a foundation of the growth of my business. 

What if you shifted your thoughts and words from “I can’t” to “I can” – if you hear “I can” often enough, you will begin to believe it!

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