When I was embarking on my career change, I had several ideas for differerent kinds of services I thought I wanted to provide.  Services that, based on my passions and values, seemed like a great fit.

After researching the basics of each, my critical early step was to test the waters by experiencing them for myself.  In one instance I found someone who had the type of business I was considering and spent a day with her helping hands-on with a client project.    In another instance I found two pro bono clients that offered to let me practice what I was learning. 

In both examples, I learned that these two areas were not a good fit… and most importantly, why they were not a good fit.   On paper, each seemed like a great fit.  Once I immersed myself in the actual day-to-day tasks, however, the misalignment became crystal clear.

If you are embarking on your own career change, I encourage you to let experience be your best teacher as well.  Whether a few hours or a few days, trying out a career you are considering can be an important step in your journey.

In my latest article “7 clues you are ready to stretch out of your comfort zone” I talk about how our comfort zone is a space or structure we build/create that surrounds us and is filled with all that is familiar.  Our safe place that help us feel grounded and secure in the world.  There are times in each of our lives when we outgrow our current comfort zone.  Here are the clues that let me know when I was at the edge of mine – ready to step through it.

I began questioning the impact I was having in my life and work.

After a tragedy in my family, I started to question my life and where it was going.  What difference was I making?  These questions helped me take a closer look at my work and at myself to see what worked, what didn’t, what was missing and where I was compromising too much of myself – especially how I was holding myself back.  Slowly the questions turned to answers.

I started paying attention to the pull I had been feeling to live in a different environment.

For years I felt the pull to another place, another lifestyle and environment.  Inside I had ideas of what it looked like and felt like.  The pull got stronger as the years went by until it was so strong I decided to take action to stretch.  My husband felt the pull too – and once that happened, the joint force pulled us through our fear.

What are your signs?

Since this week is Thanksgiving, I thought it fitting to focus todays post on not only being thankful for what we have, but taking the time to thank others for what they gave us this year. 

The thanks could be in any form we want – a phone call, e-mail, card or letter.  The vehicle does not matter, the acknowledgement is what does matter.  What can we thank others for?   For being there when we needed them, for sharing some bit if information that was helpful, for thinking of us, for lending a hand, an ear or a boost.   That is just scratching the surface. 

Who are you thankful for?

How will you thank them?

I have been wearing the same gym shoes for 2 years now.  Yes I know, that is way too long but time just flew by.

Wondering why my feet were hurting made me realize just how long it had been with these same shoes, so I asked fellow class members at the gym what kind of shoes they wore.  Both said cross trainers of one brand or another.  I wondered whether that’s what I was wearing and learned that no, I had been wearing running shoes this whole time!  The wrong shoes for the workout classes I have been taking 4 times a week! 

No wonder my feet were hurting!  I went shopping that same night and thanks to a knowledgable salesperson and my finally asking, I learned the difference.  What a differerence the right shoes make in my workouts!

This lead me to wonder how often we are “wearing the wrong shoes” in different areas of our life and what the “right shoes” could be.   In your career the right shoes could be the environmental conditions in which you thrive such as having a manager whose style meshes with yours or using your strengths and talents to the best of their ability.  The right shoes in your personal life might be aligning your life with your values or getting involved with a cause you belive in.

I would love to hear some examples of your right shoes!

I recently spent a wonderful weekend visiting my brother and his family in Chicago.  It is such a beautiful city – great architecture, very walkable, full of activity and friendly people.  I can see why they love living there as it fits their personalities, interests, wants and many of their needs.

For all its virtues, Chicago is not a good fit for me and my husband.  The Triangle in NC, where I am grateful to make my home, is!  Every day as I drive around town I gaze at my surroundings and am so appreciative of where I am.

It is no accident. For as many of you know, my husband and I spent many hours contemplating where in the country we wanted to live, what type of community we wanted to live in and much more.  We went exploring and found it right here!

There is something about seeing and experiencing a different place – a contrast – that brings out the intensity of what I already have and just how much it means to me – how much it fits me!

When have you experienced such a contrast that made you realize what you have and where you are is your best fit?

My current article  talks about where we place our focus and  attention (most of the time), so I thought I would share mine.

First, I want to start with where my focus used to be most of the time – worry.  I would worry about everything, big things, small things – you name it I would worry about it.  Then one day I heard a powerful quote that made me realize just how much attention I was paying to worry. It was said by Mark Twain and went something like this “I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never actually happened”!

That day I began my shift from focusing on the worry (most often about the future) to focusing on what was happening at that very moment (present).  If it is something good or great, I now focus on how grateful I am for it or how much I like/love/appreciate it.  If it is something not-so-great, I focus on what I can do about it (solution).

Do I still worry?  Yes.  The biggest difference is that worrying now only takes some of my attention and focus, some of the time.  NOT most of it.

What about you?

How do you tell the difference between a want and a should?  I posted this question on Facebook and received the following answers:

• “When you reach your “should”, you only arrived because it’s what was expected, and you may be content with that. But, when you reach your “want”, it’s much more rewarding when you’ve arrived. There may be more obstacles, but it’s much more rewarding.”
• “A want is more of a desire where a should comes with doubt”.
• “A well established therapist once said to me (in conversation): “shoulds” are sh-t.”

To me, shoulds are those thoughts we have that often pertain to something we do not really want to do, but somewhere we feel we need to or have to.  They often stem from beliefs we have about what is “right” for ourselves, others and the world; as well as expectations from others. 

Wants, on the other hand come from deeper desires, from something that inspires or pulls us.  When we truly want something, as one of the comments indicated above, we will often go to greater lengths to achieve it.  Whereas when something is a should, we may keep it on the back burner for a long time…

An example of a want?  A friend of mine just had triplets after spending 8 weeks in the hospital on bed rest at the end of her pregnancy.  Was it difficult?  Yes!  What kept her going and feeling positive this whole time?  Her deep want to have a family!

How do you tell the difference betweeh your wants and shoulds?

I have been blogging for more than a year and writing articles for a several years, so I decided to compile a list of everything I have written.  (I admit it, I love making lists)

A few things came up for me as I was doing this exercise.  I remembered when I used to think (and say out loud) “I can’t write”.   Those words were there before I started writing articles, then came up again in the form of “I won’t know what to blog about” when I contemplated blogging and yet again in the form of “how will I only write one sentence” when I started using Twitter.   The awareness?  Though the thoughts were there, I took action despite the words in my head and mouth and proved them wrong!   Starting was the hardest, but once I made the leap and wrote that first article, that first blog post, I realized I could do it and it built my confidence to stretch even further!

Another awareness as I was compiling this list?  I realized that my ideas for articles and blogs flow much more easily than I anticipated they would.  I actually now enjoy the process of expressing my ideas, ponderings and observations in words.

Yes, I love reviewing and making lists because they bring organization to my life, but a wonderful byproduct of a review like this is the awareness it brings.

Take a few minutes to review some of your own activities. 

I would love to hear what you discover!

Fall is my favorite season and one change I look forward to.   The change I didn’t expect or like very much?  Changes to my gym routine, especially the classes.

I love routines.  They help me stay focused and on track.  This is expecially true of going to the gym.  I also love challenges, which is why I go to several classes each week as the instructors are the best at pushing me past my comfort zone physically.

So you can understand my horror (OK maybe that’s too strong a word) when I realized that not only would some of the times of my tried and true classes be changing a bit, but many of the instuctors were changing too!!  My first reaction was “NO!  this is not good, this won’t work at all, now I’ll have to change my whole schedule, I’ll have to find different classes…” and on an on my mind reeled!.

Then I took a breath and thought about what I truly wanted – to be physically fit; and the best way for me to make that happen – taking classes that focused on strength and challenged me.  So…. I realized that the tweak in schedule may mean taking a different class now and then which adds variety (something I also love), and that new instructors would also be challenging me in new ways.  So, I not only accepted this change but now look forward to what is could mean for me positively!

How do you react to change?

My recent article, “Enough, that elusive measure” focuses on the dilemma many of us face of not having enough.  We don’t have enough… time, enough sleep, enough money, or enough energy.  We are not smart enough, thin enough, educated enough, we don’t know enough, or charge enough.  When working with my clients I hear words like, “If I had enough money I would…”; or “I never have enough time to…”, and “I never have enough energy for…” 

When I started my business I knew and prepared just enough to take my first step.  I completed my initial coach certification, created my client materials, and designed my basic business structure to begin accepting clients.  Did I know everything there was to know about coaching?  No – that is an ongoing process that will never be completed for this profession requires my own consistent learning and growth.  Did I have everything I would ever need to work with clients?  No – every day I learn a new tool or find new resources to benefit my clients.  Did I know everything I needed to know about running and building a business?  No way – I did know the important start up points including my potential for income, my accounting needs and possibilities, but the rest I learn as I go along and that is part of what makes it exciting.  I knew just enough to start.  Just enough to plan out my beginning.

What does your “enough” look like?