Experience Greater Joy

This month’s article is on experiencing more joy in life.  I thought this was a fitting topic for summer – a time when many of us take a break from our day-to-day lives for vacation.

I did just that myself spending last week in the Outer Banks of NC.  We certainly had our share of joy – from watching the sunset on top of a dune from Jockey’s Ridge, seeing the sunrise from the beach just steps from our hotel, and browsing galleries and shops on the waterfront at Manteo. 

Sunset from Jockey's Ridge

Aside from the “doing” the joy truly came from just “being”.  Yes, I brought my paints and books but found that this time, I spent more time just sitting and seeing what was in front of me.  That was true joy – fully experiencing where we were.

My intention is to have joyous moments every day, not just while on vacation.  Breaks from my regular routine where I just sit and take in where I am and what is right in front of me.

Now it’s your turn, I would love to hear what brings you joy in your life.

5 Steps to Discovering Possibilities and Potential

In my work with clients, and my workbook, these 5 steps come up all the time.  The steps are not always linear, but they all are necessary as you reach for possibilities and tap into your potential.  Here I will share each and how it has shown up in my own growth:

1 – Gain Awareness

Awareness comes up over and over again as I move through the growth of my business.  It means paying attention to what works and what doesn’t, allowing me to make slight shifts along the way.  Awareness keeps my life in balance.

2 – Clarify Your Direction

When we made our move to NC from NY, we had to know what we were looking for to help us decide where we wanted to move.  We clarified our needs and wants; and what we wanted our new community to feel like, look like and be like.  We sure found it!

3 – Get Unstuck

Whenever I feel stuck in my business, I immediately call upon one of my mastermind partners.  They are always ready with new ideas, new strategies and new challenges.  Often I choose one idea that makes me feel slightly (or more than slightly) uncomfortable so I know I am truly growing by choosing it.

4 – Get Started

To start painting again after an almost 20 year hiatus, I attended a one day class that had me painting for several hours.  This one day got me started, and over the “someday I’ll pick it back up again” thought.

5 – Make a Commitment

This is the greater challenge I have experienced with my painting, commiting to a regular practice.  What helps me?  I converted my spare bedroom into a “studio” with space to paint and I create projects to get me painting.

Take a look at your own life and your own growth and see where/how these steps have shown up.  I would love for you to share your experiences!

Beauty in my own backyard

Taking pictures is one of my favorite things to do, especially when I am able to capture beauty.  Using a digital camera makes that easy since I take hundreds of picutures there are always several that come out wonderful.

How often to I take pictures?  Not often enough for me.  I realized that I tend to wait until I am going somewhere picturesque, like the beach, a park or public garden to take out my camera.

This weekend I decided to see my own backyard from a new perspective.  What prompted me was a nest of baby birds in a tree right next to my deck.  I grabbed my camera and captured this beautiful shot. 

I then decided to “see” my yard through my camera’s eye and started to focus on the details…. a lone flower in bloom, butterflies, a magnolia blossom.   It felt great – peace, presence… and all a few steps outside of my door.

What is in your own “backyard” that you don’t truly “see”?

Slow Change

Most change happens slowly, sometimes almost imperceptibly.   Even the change we think happens overnight (like when we experience a sudden loss of a job or change in our health) did not truly happen suddenly.  There were things in motion under the surface, or under our radar that were putting that change into effect.

Slow change is something that frustrates us.  I know it frustrates me personally as well as some of the clients I work with.   When we make up our mind that we want something – to be different than it presently is, to learn or add something new, etc, we want it to happen NOW.   Most recently I was experiencing this frustration with getting up to speed with social media.  I felt like there was so much to learn, so much to set up, and so much to maintain that it was overwhelming.

When I realized I was the one overwhelming myself with the “need to hurry up the change” I slowed down.  I evaluated why I was getting involved with social media, how incremental steps taken consistently was not only more productive but more fun, and that there is really no finish line to rush toward.  This is a process that will continually be evolving.

When we put small action into motion, change happens.  It often first happens under the surface and in the bakground – in ways we can’t always see.   Like when we begin to exercise and eat healthier our bodies are reacting to this new nourishment before we feel or see a noticable difference.

So next time you are wishing to hurry change along, slow down.  Believe that every action you take, nomatter how small, is contributing to the change you seek.  Relax into the process and enjoy it!

Four areas of focus

During breakfast with a friend recently, we began talking about career fulfillment and he described it very well when he said something like this:

“The way I see it there are four areas to focus on – Purpose, Passion, Natural Talents and Vision when seeking a great career – when these four align, we are “in the flow” of life and work.  When one is missing, often because we don’t know what or how to define it, we feel off kilter.”

I could not agree more!  To me, our Purpose includes the impact we want to have on others, Passion includes the sparks that fly and keep us engaged, Natural Talents come through us effortlessly and Vision is the direction we would like to move – our journey.

How clear are your four areas of focus?

If any are cloudy, remember I offer a free consultation for you to learn how coaching could help you not only clarify your four areas of focus, but to integrate them into a plan of action to achieve them!

Taking I CAN to I AM

Believing you CAN accomplish a goal, handle a situation or stretch out of your comfort zone provides you a strong foundation to build upon.   The next step is to transition from I CAN to I AM.

Brian, who commented on my No Such Word as Can’t post brought up this topic.   He had already begun his transition to writing his book using these tools:

• Gathering information and resources about writing and publishing a book
• Seeking advice from other writers
• Telling everyone what he was doing
• Taking the leap and starting to write

Fantastic tips Brian! 

Here are more thoughts to ponder about transitioning to I AM:

• I AM is a commitment to yourself and your desire
• I AM is taking consistent small actions that build ove time
• I AM is determination to achieve even in the face of obstacles
• I AM is enjoying new discoveries, possibilities and potential paths toward your goal. 
• I AM is being present with and accepting where you are right now in your process

How have you transitioned from I CAN to I AM?

Garden (and Life) Shifts

You have heard me talk of using what I have to create delicious meals and decorate my home – now it has stretched to the garden!  My husband and I transplanted some perennials around the garden, shifting them from one place to another, taking advantage of what worked best for our plants and our space.   These shifts breathed new life into our deck and porch (where we moved the plants to) and created breathing space where we moved the plants from (they were overcrowding each other).

This made me think about other areas of our life where we could shift what’s already here to achieve greater balance that suits our lives best.  To trim where there is too much (clutter, time spent, overwhelm) and shift to areas where more is needed (resources, energy, time). 

It’s very freeing to know that we don’t always have to add or discard – sometimes small shifts creates a freshness and beauty that fills our needs.  Shifting is also available to us right now, every day.

What shifts can you make in your life?

No such word as “can’t”

Growing up, my father would always say “there is no such word as can’t”.  He never let us get away with the litany of excuses we would create and would instead tell us we could do anything!   My reaction to hearing that in the early years was frustration because it often referred to chores or some task I didn’t really want to do, but now could not get out of. 

As I got older, I started hearing “I can’t” come out of my mouth when faced with a difficult math problem or uncomfortable situation.  Then hearing “there is not such word as can’t” took on a different meaning.  It forced me out of my comfort zone, to work through problems and find solutions around obstacles.  Still, at a young age I did not like hearing those words!

Fast forward to today and I realize just how much of an impact those words have had on my life.  They helped me grow and challenge myself to learn new skills, push through some very difficult times and have served as a foundation of the growth of my business. 

What if you shifted your thoughts and words from “I can’t” to “I can” – if you hear “I can” often enough, you will begin to believe it!

Garden Power

The other day I attended a Garden Power party.  What was it?  A gathering of friends to help plant a new garden for Ira Thompson at her house in Cary.  Ira considers herself an “indoor person” but she loves to look at the beauty of nature.  So she knew that to have a beautiful garden she would need to enlist the help of others – and she did just that!

Ira offered what she is known for – amazing food and fun!  She created a spread of breakfast and lunch goodies to feed those who attended and asked that each friend just bring a pair of gardening gloves and be ready to get dirty.  One friend is a landscape designer, Mary Liljequist of Earthly Delights Landscape Design in Raleigh.  She supplied the design and layout for Ira’s garden – lots of beauty and low maintenance for this “indoor girl” and everyone knew just what to do when they arrived. 

What a great time we had, being in nature, helping a good friend, reconnecting with some and making wonderful new connections with all who were there!  Asking for help is something many of us shy away from, but it is something we all need to do more often!

What are you ready to ask for help with?

Resistance to the New

Well, I did it, I am officially doing something I have been resisting for quite a while now, I am Tweeting on Twitter!

For months as I heard my friends and colleagues talking about this fun new social media tool, many thoughts were going through my head like “it will take too much time, I don’t know how it works and don’t have time to find out right now, it’s not for me, I don’t need it – and especially I won’t know what to write”.  The same excuses came up before I began writing articles each month, before joining Facebook, before writing my Workbook and before starting this blog.

Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to come up with a list of excuses when we don’t want to do something?  So what’s the real reason for my resistance to stepping into the new (technology, strategies, etc)?   I know it has something to do with putting myself out there publicly.  You see, in my not too distant past I would prefer to remain in the background listening to and seeing others express themselves all the while in awe of their ability and courage to do that.

Being a coach, I am always encouraging my clients to stretch out of their comfort zones which compells me to consistently do the same myself.   So, how do I know when I am ready to make the leap and stretch into something new instead of continuing to resist it?    For me, it’s when the curiosity of doing it and thoughts of possibilities it might bring start showing up more often.  When that happens, I jump in!

How do you know when you are ready to leap into something new?